Getting Kicked in the Arse

Well, I got it. Totally kicked in the arse for not taking care of myself. Was it a wake-up call? I think so, but in many ways, I have to accept my retreat or my failure to not manage this life efficiently.

I’ve always been strong - strong willed, strong minded, strong feelings, strong everything. My dad always told me that I’d definitely give my mate “a run for his money” when I got married. My life has forced me to take a strong stand on many things, having been dealt a variety of hands that were not normal, and in many ways, life changing. I was taught to be “strong” in your conviction, but make sure you are smart to that conviction. Don’t be a “band wagon girl” unless you truly understand the mission, the ideology, the small details.

Fast forward to my adult life. I’ve been very blessed to raise four wonderful kids, different in so many ways and independent in thought and conviction. My husband had a great law enforcement career. I transitioned from a career in healthcare marketing to code enforcement and now a career in education in the “trades”. I’m thankful that I work for a company who understands the challenges of coordinating physician appointments, “bad days”, and emergency room trips.

I still struggle with the idea of “taking care of myself”. I get up early for some quiet time; there’s nothing more serene than sitting out on our deck and listening to nature while balancing a cuppa joe. Its that time that I list my things to be thankful for (courtesy of my SMR). I head out to do errands and sneak in a stop at my favorite antique store (a requirement from my bestie). I read, play a very addicting game of Pop Time on my phone, and scoot out with my camera when I can. These are the things I do for myself, almost a recharge of my battery.

As I was eloquently told not too long ago, “you wouldn’t let your phone battery run low, why are you letting your internal battery run low?”

I get it. I have strong shoulders, always taking care of everyone else first, myself last. It’s just what I do. I’m blessed to have my “phone a friends” when I need someone to just listen, not say a word as I blubber about my bad day. Then it’s time to drag my butt up and off the ground, and move on.

Its easy to see our life from the outside. 75% of the time, we’re bumbling along on Half-Assed Acres, life is good. The other 25% is really, “oh shit, who do I call?”. So if you see me wandering off alone, I’m actually recharging my battery.