LBD: Withdrawal and Lack of Engagement
LBD and Withdrawal
Who would have thought that my love, Mr. Personality, always full of vitality, would ever have moments, hours or even days of withdrawal. Well, my friends, the time is here.
As this crazy thing called dementia progresses, the opportunity for a person to become withdrawn increases. But the reasons for the withdrawal isn’t necessarily the dementia. Wait … what?
Individuals with dementia often put themselves in a place of isolation. The challenges they face can include difficulty in initiating or participating in conversation or the fear of not understanding what’s being said. Think about how quickly we speak, paired with emotion and the voice gets accelerated or high-pitched. Add to that a room filled with other conversation, footsteps, cars driving by, dishes clanking, etc. and every sound comes together as mush.
Dealing with difficult emotions, like anger, sadness or fear (we have all of those right now), can also contribute to withdrawal. Sometimes the smallest negative experience can become a really big THING and then it’s KABOOM. One car cutting us off on the road leads to cursing, arm waving, etc. and quite a bit of time to settle down. It seems silly to many, but it’s how the brain processes now.
Feeling undermined or patronized are feelings that seem to be more in the forefront right now. Not catching myself and correcting a mispronounced word can be perceived as me making fun of my love. Words and their timing are carefully cultivated (mostly) and many times, I just don’t respond.
When a person with dementia is aware of their loss of abilities, they may develop poor self-esteem and lose confidence, which in turn could lead them to withdraw from others.
There’s a fine line between assuming someone being quiet is OK and respecting someone being quiet really is OK and just absorbing. So, if you call, you’ll most likely get voicemail. If you text, you might get great dialog or the standard, “Hey, not much up for taking today.”
Our ability to get out into the outside world is significantly changing. Restaurants are too loud and confining, people are rude and not always respectful, there’s too much traffic, etc. We take our adventures day to day; they’re short, quick, and then we’re back into safety and the comforts of home. Cigars on the patio are his solace, plugged into his iPod and singing to his heart’s content (I apologize a lot to the neighbors when he get’s a little loud).
So, in essence, leave a message; he/we might get back to you. Just don’t take it personally.
