Just Keep Swimming: Finding Light In The Sweet Unknown
There’s a moment in Disney’s film, Finding Nemo, where our heroine, Dory, the blue tang and best bud to Nemo, looks out at the vast, overwhelming ocean … and instead of freezing, instead of giving up, she sings:
“Just keep swimming.”
And somehow, that becomes enough.
The Sweet Unknown
Living with someone with dementia, especially something like lewy body dementia, is a lot like living in Dory’s world.
Moments come and go.
Conversations start … and disappear.
You can explain something gently, lovingly … and five minutes later, it’s brand new again.
And if you’re not careful, you can get pulled under by it. Literally.
Because for you, it’s repetition.
For them, it’s the first time.
What Dory Teaches Us
Dory doesn’t remember where she’s been. She doesn’t always understand what’s happening.
But she keeps going anyway.
Dory: Finding Nemo, Walt Disney Pictures/Pixar Animation
Not perfectly.
Not with a plan.
But with a kind of quiet trust that this moment is enough.
And that’s something caregiving asks of us too.
“Just Keep Swimming” — For Both of You
The beauty of Dory’s mantra is that it works on both sides of this journey, just in different ways.
For the Person Living with Dementia
They are already “swimming,” whether they realize it or not.
They live in the present moment
They move forward without a clear roadmap
They rely on feeling over memory
For them, it means:
Continuing through the moment, even when it doesn’t fully make sense.
For the Caregiver
This is where “just keep swimming” becomes intentional.
Letting go of needing everything to make sense
Choosing patience over correction
Focusing on the next moment, not the whole day
For you, it means:
Showing up again… and again… with presence, even when you’re tired.
Where You Meet
This is the part that matters most:
They are navigating confusion
You are navigating constancy
And the bridge between those two worlds is built with:
Calm reassurance
Gentle redirection
Moments of connection that don’t require memory
Because in their world, there is no “again.”
There is only now.
Reframing the Hard Moments
What if…
Instead of thinking:
“We just talked about this.”
We shifted to:
“I get to meet you here again.”
That small shift?
It changes everything.
The Strength in Simplicity
“Just keep swimming” isn’t about ignoring how hard this is.
It’s about choosing the next small step:
Answering the same question with kindness
Finding humor in the unexpected
Letting go of needing control
Meeting them where they are, not where they used to be
Some days, swimming looks like strength.
Other days, it looks like survival.
Both count.
The Gift Hidden Inside
Dory lives in what we might call a “sweet unknown.”
And while dementia is heartbreaking - let’s be honest about that - there are moments tucked inside it that are unexpectedly gentle:
A laugh that comes out of nowhere
A story told like it’s the first time
A hand reaching for yours without hesitation
They aren’t tied to memory.
They’re tied to connection.
For the Caregiver
If you’re in this space right now…
Tired.
Overwhelmed.
Repeating yourself for the tenth time before lunch.
Take a breath.
You’re not doing it wrong.
You’re doing something incredibly hard with incredible heart.
So when the day feels like too much, borrow a little wisdom from a little blue fish who had no idea what she was doing … but did it anyway:
Just keep swimming.
A Gentle Reminder
You don’t have to have all the answers.
You don’t have to do this perfectly.
They keep swimming in their way.
You keep swimming in yours.
And somehow … together …
you keep moving forward.
One moment.
One breath.
One wave at a time.